Imzadi: My Version
Chapters: Thirty-seven to Thirty-nine
Chapter Thirty-seven
"Mrs. Riker, with all the stress he's been under, I don't know why you want to surprise him."
"Well, he has waited this long." Deanna replied.
The captain sighed. "OK, I still have to report you being found, but I'll see what I can do about surprising your husband."
"Thank you." She smiled.
"In the meantime, Ensign LaForge will show you to your
quarters."
"Thank you." Deanna smiled.
"Mama, he looks funny. What is that on his face?" Will Jr. thought to his mother.
"I think he's blind, hun." Deanna sent to her son.
"Essin LaFow, LaFore." Will Jr. looked up to his mother for the name, but LaForge understood.
"Yes, sir." LaForge said looking down at the boy and smiling.
"Was dat on your face?"
Geordi smiled. "It's a visor. It helps me see."
"Why?"
"Well, I was born blind."
"Why?"
"Will! That's enough." Deanna scolded.
"I wanna know why too, Mama." Kestra said. "Why you born blind?"
LaForge laughed. "They're at that age aren't they?"
Deanna sighed. "I'm afraid so."
"They're cute."
"Thank you. I apologize for their extreme curiousness. It seems to be a Betazoid trait."
"Nah," Geordy smiles. "It seems to be a quality of Starfleet officers. They'll probably grow up and join Starfleet like their father. Personally, I rather people ask questions than just stare."
"I can understand that."
"Well, here you go." Said Geordy as he shows them into the visitors quarters. "The food replicator is over here. You know how to work one?"
"Yes. Thank you."
"Is there anything else you need?" He asked.
"Not that I can think of right now." She replied.
"Well, if you need anything just call us on the com." He gestured to the panel near the door.
"Thank you. I will."
He then departed and Will Jr. exclaims, "Oh, wow! We on a starsip!" Then he rushes over to the window to look out.
The three of them spent the next twenty-four hours aboard the Victory. The children enjoyed every minute they were on the Constellation-class starship. "This is better than that shuttle, Mama." Will Jr. thought to his mother, before he went to sleep that night.
The next evening, Will was in the lounge having scotch on the rocks, again. He was on his third one for the night. "Where could she be! It's been more than a week now! I thought I had felt something from her last night, but I feel nothing, now. I know she's out there. Somewhere. She has to be."
"Hello again, Billy Boy." She said as she agressively sits herself down on his lap, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"Hi, a.." Will starts to say. "Um, I'd rather you not do that."
"Oh, but Billy Boy, I just want to take your mind off your troubles." She says as she strokes the side of his face.
"Look, really." He starts to stand up, but falls back down into the chair.
"Oh, I'm sure if you let me, I could take your mind off your troubles and we could have some fun."
"You don't give up do you?"
"No." Then she plants a kiss on his lips.
When she releases him, he had to catch his breath. Will was a little dizzy and he could not decide if it was the scotch or her kiss.
"Um, why don't you have a seat over there." He gestures to the chair across from him.
"Well, as long as I can have the presence of your
company." She says, stroking his face again, as she gets up off his lap to sit in the chair.
Three hours later, Marie and Will were still in the lounge. By this time, Will had lost count of how many glasses of scotch he had had. "I think I need to go." Will informed Marie.
"Oh, Billy Boy." She gets up, walks over to him and plants herself on his lap. "Stay a little longer." Then she kisses him again.
Deanna and the children were back in the transporter room.
"Mama, dat's scary. Do we have to get on it?" Will Jr asked.
"Yes, Mama. Do we have to?" Kestra agreed.
"I assure you two, it's OK." She sits down beside them and continues. "It's another way to get from one place to another and it won't hurt you. In fact, if you try to enjoy it, instead of being afraid of it, it can kind of tickle."
Both their eyes got wide and they said in unison,
"Really?"
"Uh, Huh." Deanna affirmed to her children with a
smile. "Besides, I promise if you get on the transporter, you will be on your Daddy's ship next and you will see him soon."
Both of them smiled and took their places on the circles without further reluctance. Before they knew it, they were on the Hood and the two children squeeled with glee.
The captain of the Hood was there to greet them. "Hello Mrs. Riker. Children."
"Hello" Deanna said as the children said,
"Hewwo." At the same time.
"I'll take you to your husband's quarters and then you all can be reunited shortly there after. At your request, Mrs. Riker, we have not yet told him, so that you may surprise him. I don't understand why you chose to do that, but I guess it's your decision."
"Thank you."
They were excorted to his quarters and then they waited there until Will showed up.
"We see Daddy, soon now, Mama?" They asked excitedly.
"Yes." she smiled at her children.
"I really need to be going." Will told Marie.
"I'll go with you!" She exclaimed.
"No, That's OK." Will staggered a bit getting up. Her being on his lap and the Scotch he had drunk did not go together very well.
She stood and followed him out of the lounge. As they walked she continued to paw him with her hands.
"Marie, please." Will slurred. "It's been a long day and I really want to go to my quarters."
"By all means! We can finish our little party there!"
"No, I have to get some sleep."
She leans on his shoulder. "Oh, Billy Boy, I'll make sure you're tucked in and sleeping like a baby!"
"Nice offer, but no." He said, trying to resist her advances. "How much more can a man take of this?" He asked himself.
He kept trying to keep her from leaning on him, but she continued to try and hang on him. They walked down the corridor to the turbolift and she continued her seductive pursuit of him.
They arrived at his quarters and the doors to his quarters open. Will walked in with Marie hanging on him and lipstick all over his face. Will's eyes got very wide at what he saw and he suddenly sobbered.
"Deanna!"
Deanna saw the lipstick on Will's face and the woman she
remembered as pawing her husband years ago. Anger rose inside her.
"Daddy!" The children ran to him and grabbed his legs in a hug, where he stood, staring at their mother.
Will stared at Deanna in shock. "You're here!"
"Obviously you were not that worried about me." Deanna said in anger looking at Marie. Then Deanna started to walk out of his quarters.
"Deanna!" Will yelled after her. "Deanna, it's not what you're thinking."
She reels around. "Then why is there lipstick all over your face and she came with you to your quarters hanging all over you?"
"I, ah," Marie started to say.
"Yes, you'd better leave. Unless you want to be on the
receiving end of a Betazoid woman's wrath, also." Deanna looked at her with distained.
The children were quiet, still clutching their father and
watching everything that was happening. Marie, on the other hand hurried out of Will's quarters quickly.
"Deanna." Will started to walk over to her and hug her.
"Don't touch me!" Deanna recoiled.
"Honestly, Deanna." Will said. "She was just
following me here. Nothing has ever happened between us and
nothing was going to happen."
"How do I know that?"
Will sighed. Then he finally resigned himself to what it looked like it may have been that night. "You don't know and I can't prove it to you."
"I had hoped to surprise you, but it looks like the surprise is on me." Deanna said. Then she turns to walk out of Will's quarters.
"Deanna, where are you going?"
"To request the use of the visitor's quarters until this ship takes us back to Betazed!" She said as she walks out the doors.
"Daddy?" Asked Kestra. "What just happen?"
Will did not answer Kestra's question. He stood there and stared at the doors to his quarters in shock.
Chapter Thirty-eight
The captain knew Mrs. Riker was very angry about something. Even so, he could not understand why she wanted to be in the visitor quarters and not with her husband.
Captain DeSoto thought for a moment with his hands clasped
together, first two fingers pointing upward on his chin.
"Mrs. Riker, I don't know what problems you and Lieutenant Commander Riker are having and it's none of my business, but I think you two need to work them out somehow. I really feel that giving you the visitor's quarters is not the answer. I would not be doing you two any favours. At this point, I see no necessity in assigning you guest quarters."
"So, you're denying me the use of the visitor's
quarters."
"Yes, ma'am, I am." DeSoto stated firmly. "Unless you can give me a legitiment reason for you to be in separate quarters. Besides personal reasons. That is not a good enough reason to use the extra resources on this ship."
"No, sir. I can't give you any other reason." Deanna replied. "I just feel our disagreements are significant enough for us not to be in the same quarters together."
"Well, then marital disagreements is not something I can approve separate quarters." DeSoto stated. "I think you two would be better off trying to work them out during your stay here."
Deanna frowned. "Well, thank you, sir."
Deanna started to leave when the captain addressed her again. "Mrs. Riker."
She turned back around to face him. "Yes, sir."
"I just wanted to tell you that you and Riker have two
lovely children."
"Thank you." She replied with a smile. However, she sensed he had an ulterior motive for mentioning their children.
When she realized he was finished she departed from his office. She then begrudginly returned to their quarters. "Well, it looks like I'm stuck with him until we get back." She thought angerily.
Once she returned to their quarters, Will had the children in bed and asleep. He saw that she had returned and said, "Well, I thought you were going to see about different quarters?"
"I have nothing to say to you." She stated firmly and proceeded to arrange the sofa so she could sleep on it.
"Maybe you have nothing to say, but I do." He informed her. "Do you know what assume means?"
"If you mean make a judgement on something then yes." She said as she turned to face him. "If you mean something, else then I have no idea what you mean."
"When one assumes something they make an ass out of you and me."
"If that's a joke it's not funny." Deanna stated.
"Well, if you had opened your mind tonight, you might have sensed something totally different than what you did, but no. You've been closing your mind off to everyone, lately. Me, your mother, hell for all I know the children, too."
She stops what she was doing and looked him square in the eye. "And what's that suppose to mean?"
"You have been refusing to talk to anyone about why you are so angry lately."
"I am not angry!"
"You couldn't prove it by me." Will stated.
"I don't have to listen to this." Deanna said as she
started to walk back out the door.
Will jumps to catch up with her. Then he jumps in front of her path. "Oh, no you don't. Not this time. You are going to stay here and at least listen."
Deanna crossed her arms and looked at him angerily. "OK, whatever it is you have to say, say it."
"I don't know what's going on between you and your mother, and I'm not sure why you became so angry about me wanting to return to a ship. As for tonight though, you've met that woman and you know how persistant she can be. Just because I returned to my quarters with her does not mean anything. If anything, she was insistant on coming with me."
"Oh, please!"
"You just happen to have seen her leaning on me and all, again. What you did not see was me trying to pry her off of me. Nor did you hear me telling her I'm a married man and that I wanted to return here by myself. Now you can assume what you want, but if you think about what you know about that woman and past history, you would know I am being honest with you. Now, you're welcome to join me or you can stay out here. Suit yourself." Then he started to leave the room for the sleeping area.
She stood and watched him start leave for the other room. She lowered her mental blocks and sensed his anger and frustration. "Will." She said softly.
He turned towards her. "You're right and I'm sorry." She said trying to keep from crying. "I've been upset about a lot of things lately and it was not fair to you that I just looked at the obvious instead of asking you about it first."
"Well that's a start." Will said.
"It's just before you left, you became so distant and no matter how hard I tried, you did not talk to me. You just kept all your thoughts to yourself and stayed up late staring up at the stars. Then you decided to come here without talking to me about it. You never asked how I felt or what I wanted. So, I just felt it was pointless to even try to talk to you after that."
"Deanna." He said with remorse. "I'm sorry if you felt like I wasn't wanting to talk to you."
"You just walked out and left us!" She shouted.
"Hey, I asked you to come with me." He said
defensively.
"Yes, but you never even discussed with me what I
wanted." Deanna said. "I tried to talk to you about returning to my studies and you refused to discuss it any further. You just decided it was discussed once and that was the end of it. Well, things do change, Will!"
"OK, I'm listening." Will said. "And if you want to go back now, that's fine. It's just, if you do go back, I think you need help with the children, so you are not burning the candle at both ends. Even if I was there, the need for help would still be needed. They can't stay in preschool all day."
"Well, I know you don't want Mother looking after them and neither do I." Deanna stated with anger as she added the last.
"No, but I don't understand why you are so angry with
her."
"I really don't want to discuss her."
"Regardless, of how I feel, I've heard you have not been very nice to her lately." Will informed. "In fact, it would seem your mother and I have been getting along better than you have with her, lately."
"I said, I don't want to talk about her."
"I may not care for your mother's attitude sometimes, but I do care about how she is treated." Will said. "I want to know what you're taking out on her."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"You're blaming her, aren't you?" Will asked.
Deanna just got quiet. "OK, fine." Said Will.
"Then who are you going to get to help you with the children while you study?"
"I don't know yet."
"OK, you finish your studies then what are you going to
do."
"You joined Starfleet to beat Kirk's record." Deanna said. "I want to join to be one of the best psychologists they ever had."
"Starfleet?" Will said in shock. "I had no
idea."
"You never asked." Deanna informed. "Just as
mother never asked. You just assumed that I'd spend five years at home with the kids and stay on Betazed."
"I'm not so sure it's such a good idea for the children to have us both..."
"There are several officers who have spouses in Starfleet and have children. So don't tell me what is a good idea or not a good idea!" She said with anger.
"I don't want to worry about both you and the
children."
"Oh, please! What you do is even more of a risk then what I plan on doing in Starfleet."
"Alright, fair enough." Will said. "So while you are studying on Betazed and I'm here, how are we going to juggle the kids?"
"What?" Deanna asked.
"Well, I still want to be there for them, but I'm out here and you're on Betazed. Am I not going to have time with them while you're attending the University?"
"Really, you make it sound like we're..." She paused with a sudden realization. "We are going in two different directions aren't we?"
"I don't know, you tell me." Will said, still sounding a little angry.
Deanna looked some what confused for a few seconds. "You know, maybe we do need some time to think about things. Maybe everything was a little too soon. Maybe..." She shook her head. Tears were collecting into her eyes. "I don't know anymore about us. All I know is what I feel I need to do and you know what you feel you need to do."
Will walked closer to her, pulled her close to him and hugged her. Deanna laid her head on his chest and cried, as he kissed the top of her head. "Imzadi," Will said. "It's OK. We'll work through this."
A few days later, the Hood arrived at Betazed. As Deanna and the children were getting ready to beam down, Will said his good byes to the children. Then he faced Deanna. "I guess this is good bye."
"I don't like good byes." She said feeling a little uncomfortable and sad. "Why don't we say, until next time."
There was a brief pause in their conversation. Then Will said, "Well, good luck with your studies and you know you can also come and see me whenever you like. It doesn't have to be just the kids."
"I know." Deanna replied. "And you can see us when you like."
"Deanna, I feel like we're getting divorced, not
separated." Will said. "Geeze! This is the most awkward moment I have ever had with you!"
"As you said, we will eventually work through this, but we agreed that for now, we need some time apart."
"And you don't think this isn't tearing me up inside to see you go your way and me my way?" He asked. "At least for a while."
"I know." She said sadly. "We're both hurting, but we agreed we need to find ourselves, before we can figure out how we feel for each other. Or even if we do feel the same way."
"Yes, but maybe we can do all this together."
"Not unless you want to be stationed on Betazed, for a while longer." Deanna said. "And I really don't think that's what you want either."
"No, I don't." Will said. "You were right. I do want to break Kirk's record still and I can't do that on
Betazed."
"Well, I'll send the kids to stay with you in a couple of months." Deanna said.
"Deanna." Will placed his hands on her shoulders.
"As I said, I would not mind seeing you, too."
"I know." Deanna said. "When there's a break in my studies. Of course, you do get shore leave from time to time. You could come and see us also. It's a two way street you know."
"Yes, you're right." He agreed.
"Well, Mother has been anxious to get her say in with me, so I'd better get down there." Deanna said trying to change the subject. "I don't relish listening to her, but I guess this will be my chance to get some things off my chest with her."
"If she let's you get a word in edge wise." Will joked.
"True." Deanna agreed.
"You know, Deanna, we may have agreed we need some time
apart, but I'll still miss you."
Deanna felt tears well up in her eyes. "I'll miss you, too, but we have our paths to follow and whether or not they meet eventually..."
"Yes, I know. Only time will tell." Will finished.
"Daddy? Mama?" Kestra got her parents attention.
As Will and Deanna looked down at her, it was Will Jr. who
finished the question. "Why don't you want to be
together?"
With surprise on their faces, they both got down to the
children's level and Will said, "Well, it's not that we
don't, but we have things we have to do and we just can't be
together right now."
"We don't understand." Said Kestra.
"What your father is saying, is we have to have some time out from each other so we can think about what we have to do."
"Like when Kessa and I fight, then you make us take time out?" Asked Will Jr.
Will replied with a some what of an embarrassed chuckle,
"Yes, something like that."
Kestra holds her head down and sadly says, "That's not
good."
Will and Deanna then stood. Look at each other briefly, but they did not say another word to each other. Finally, Deanna turned towards the transporter padd. "Let's go, Will, Kestra."
The children looked at their father and said sadly, "Bye Daddy." Then gave him another hug and kiss, before they step on a circle on the transporter padd. "Mama told us we have to stand on the circles." Will Jr. said with a smile.
Will smiled and chuckled. "Yes, that's right, son."
Then Will watched them beam off the ship. He felt an emptiness within himself as he watched Deanna leave. He did not know if they would ever recapture the feelings they once had for each other. He knew he still loved her and she loved him, but things had changed and now she was gone.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Deanna and the children had been beamed down in front of their home and Lwaxana and Chandra were there to greet them. At least Chandra was there to greet them.
"Where have you been, Little One and where's Will? You know you had us scared half to death? Why have you been blocking everyone out and why did you leave without telling anyone? I've been worried sick about you!"
Deanna walked to the front door with the children in tow.
"You know that's your problem. You treat me like a child and you always have to stick your nose in where it doesn't belong."
"Really? Well, you've been acting like a child lately!
Blocking your thoughts and running off without telling
anyone!" Lwaxana exclaimed.
"Well, I for one am glad you're back." Stated Chandra.
"Thank you, Chandra." Deanna said as they all walked through the door. "At least someone around here knows how to welcome someone home!" She said as she looked directly at her mother.
"I've just been very worried about you, that's all." Lwaxana informed.
"You know, Mother, there for a while I did blame you for Will leaving. Now, I realize you were only part of the
problem."
"What? Don't tell me, you and Will are getting divorced! A daughter of the Fifth House getting divorced! Why that's just disgraceful!" Lwaxana continued her terrade.
"No, Mother, we're not getting divorced." Deanna
informed her.
"Well, that's a relief." Lwaxana said. "So, then where is he?"
"He's on the Hood. We've decided to separate."
"Separate?" Lwaxana said in surprise. "Well, for how long and why?"
"I don't know. Just until we work things out."
"What's there to work out? You love each other still don't you?" Lwaxana asked.
Deanna sighed. "Yes, we do, Mother, but it was all to much to soon. All of this. We have to find out who we are still and find out what we really want in life and we just can't do that together. As much as we want too, we can't. We have too many differences right now and we've just grown apart."
"Apart? Well, how in the world can you grow back together if you're not together?" Lwaxana asked surprised.
"I don't know. We just will and you will stay out of
it." Deanna informed her. "I don't want you involved in our marriage anymore."
"I was just trying to help!"
"Well, don't, Mother."
"Well, the children need to learn about being Betazoid, and everything else that goes with it." Lwaxana said. "Why, you're not even teaching them how to worship the gods and give them thanks!"
"Well, maybe I don't believe in the deities you do, Mother or at least maybe I don't worship them like you do." Deanna informed her.
"That is sacreligious! I won't have my
grandchildren..."
"No, I won't have you meddling in how we raise our children, Mother!" Deanna shouted. "That's part of the problem right there."
"Oh, really?" Lwaxana asked looking appaulled.
"Yes, really." Deanna affirmed. "We don't need your help and we don't want your help."
"Well, if that's how you're going to be, I'm leaving!"
"Fine!"
Lwaxana stormed out of the house, just as angry with Deanna as Deanna was with her.
Deanna turned to Chandra. "What are you planning on doing, now that you've had Tebra?"
"I'm not sure yet. Why do you ask?" Chandra asked.
As fast as Deanna left Marie Roselerio was all over Will in the lounge. "Look, you almost cost me the most important thing in my life and I didn't do anything. Now I would appreciate it if you would stop coming on to me." Will demanded.
"Oh, but Billy Boy, I just want to help you take your mind off of things." She replied.
"Well, don't." Will said. "I like what my mind is on and I don't need you distracting me from it."
"Oh, Billy Boy doesn't want to come out and play?"
Will had really tired of her game and rudely pushed her off his lap. "I'm sorry, but I have had enough of you and as I said, I would appreciate it if you would cease in your behaviour toward me."
Will then stood and proceeded to walk out of the lounge, leaving a shocked Roselario sitting on the floor. He returned to his quarters, then decided to read a book and call it a night.
Meanwhile, back at the Riker home Chandra was surprised about the question Deanna had asked her. "You want me to help you with the twins while you go to school?"
"Yes, if you want to." Deanna said. "After all, you're practically family to them."
Chandra smiles. "Well, I'd be honoured to help you out with them."
The twins squeeled their joy. "Aunt Chandwa going to watch us!"
Then they both stopped and said in unison, "This mean we not go to pweschool?"
Deanna smiled at them, "No, since you enjoy it you can still go, it's just Aunt Chandra will help out when I need an extra hand around here."
"Oh, OK." They said together with joy.
"Tebwa, we get to play together a lot now!" Will Jr. told the little one year old.
Tebra giggled her appreciation of the twins' joy.
"Oh, you know Tebra can't play everything with you two
yet?" Chandra asked them.
"Yes, we know, but we still like to pway what we can wif her." Will Jr. said.
Chandra and Deanna giggled with gladness that the two three year olds enjoyed Tebra's company, even though they could not actually play together just yet. Afterwards, Deanna went on to tell Chandra about her classes, schedules and other things pertaining to helping out when Deanna need the extra hands.